I am Different Than a Retired Judge


This is the sixth installment of an eight-part series on why mediation is such a great way to resolve conflicts. I hope you find this information useful.

#6 – I am Different Than a Retired Judge

A trial attorney described a mediation he participated in where the mediator was a retired judge. The experience differed so much from how I conduct mediations that I want to point out the differences.

The retired judge began the mediation by announcing “This is all about a number,” and then he twisted their arms to get one side to go up and the other side to come down until they agreed on a dollar amount to settle the dispute.

I am very different than a retired judge. To begin with, I do not presume to know what the conflict is about. The disputing parties know what the conflict is about, so I listen to them tell me what issues we need to address.

Second, I understand that most conflicts involve many issues that are not money. Unfortunately, the court system, lawyers, and television have conditioned us to think about disputes only in terms of dollars. But after really thinking about it, people realize what they want is something else.

Third, I do not twist any arms or try to push anyone into what I think is a solution. I don’t push anyone to do anything. In my mediations, everyone participates voluntarily. People come to agreements voluntarily, and only after they have fully considered their options and found their own solution that they believe is good for them. I respect a person’s ability to determine whether something is good for them.

If you want a mediator to guide you through a process to find your own solutions, contact Daci L. Jett, a Certified Mediator.